I’ll Always Love You

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as tears fill my eyes and this lump builds in my throat
i’m constantly overthinking, rereading the words I wrote
how could i have been so stupid
how could i have been so blind
to question your motives, like you haven’t been here all the time
down from day one, never giving reason to question you
yet it’s hard to be ‘just friends’ if the love is true
‘friends & lovers’ can make it through
but i love you too much to be just friends with you
it may seem selfish, but i don’t want just half of you
i want it all or nothing at all
people make time for what they want
“this is just temporary”, you said…
“i still love you”, you said…
but your actions show me otherwise
some things are better left unsaid
if you don’t mean it, keep it
i don’t need to hear it…
it’s starting to make a lot more sense
it’s slowly getting clearer as the fog disappears from my vision
no longer obscured, i finally see
maybe, after all, we’re not really meant to be
right when i think i’ve found it
that’s when it turns around
you knew how to do it right
but you decided to make this change
so don’t get mad if i walk away
the freedom you’ve given me
holding on, i tried…
maybe it’s best if i just admit it & say goodbye…
i’m done wasting time
both yours and mine
i don’t know what this means for you
but i know what it means for me
breaking these chains of confusion, i’m done waiting
i refuse to be a last resort, a second best
i deserve to be someone’s everything and nothing less
it’s gonna hurt, true
but my heart will thank me, for this is for the best
admitting i was wrong for loving you
moving on and doing what i need to do
i guess this is goodbye
despite the fact i’ll always love you…

Letting go

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letting go is the hardest thing to do
especially when you don’t want to
but how do I keep holding on
when it’s practically dead
some things are better left unsaid
so I’ll keep these feelings to myself
let this (& you) go and begin the healing process
somehow I knew it’d come to this
despite the unexpectedness
shocked, a little, not much
gotta admit, nonetheless, I’m gonna miss ‘us’….

My Love

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no one knows how much i love you except the little conscience inside my brain telling me to mind my mind and leave my heart outta the equation…i just couldn’t help myself, i fell hard, hoping you can rise to the occasion…life’s not a fairytale, but you’re my prince charming…i know i’m safe in your arms, nothing in this world can harm me…like the roots of an old oak tree my love for you is binding…till now until forever, i want you right beside me…

Unwanted Memories

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He called but it was too late
Told me he misses me
I said I missed who he used to be
Nothing like a memory
Chained doors, brick walls
Brick & mortar, sheet rock & missed calls
On my mind, but out of sight
Unwanted memories replaying in my mind
You told me what you wanted
I gave you what you need
Bent over backwards & lost sleep
Can’t remember how many times you played me
All the skirt chasing, alibis, and fake “I love you’s”
Unwanted memories tend to be my new muse
Some things will never change
I grew a backbone but your ignorance remained
Growing apart, months spun from lazy days
Love dissipates but memories remain
Same photo, different frame
Unwanted memories remind my brain
What we used to be, why we dissolved
You claim to miss me, but never loved me at all
Coming into my own, releasing the past
Unwanted memories dissipating at last…

Be Patient With Me

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If you truly love me, be patient with me…I’m not always going to be that nice, sweet, goofy, & sarcastically humorous girl that you first met…in fact, more than most, I’m going to get on your nerves…I’m going to annoy you…I’m going to get under your skin until you wish we’d never met, but be patient with me…if you love me, be patient with me…it’s not my intention to make your life hell, in fact i want to be the one who makes it all well, the one who wants to make sure you succeed and not fail, the one who loves you when the nights are long as hell…so be patient with me, if you love me, be patient with me…I’m going to be adamant and stubborn…I’m going to be egotistical and unpredictable…I’m going to be a handful, but I will also be irresistible…with my hands running through your hair, my constant support and never-ending care…I’ll love you without end, you’ll always know I’m there…so be patient with me, if you love me, be patient with me…I’m going to make it known that you are the only, the one I love, and no one else can have me…faithful and loyal beyond belief, so if you love me, be patient with me…some days I’ll be up, some days I’ll be down…some days I’ll be depressed, others the household clown…some days I’ll be shy, others as exuberant as the brightest light…some days I’ll be unnerving, others I’ll want to express an expression of plight…but be patient with me, if you truly love me, be patient with me…I’ll love you forever, this I know is true…and if you’ll be patient with me…I’ll vow to be patient with you…